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TalkingDivorceApril232016

Apr 25, 2016|

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Following program is a paid commercial program. No men talking about divorce. My attorney in politics and this week we're focused on negotiating a divorce what's your spouse tell growing up put a divorce only to a better parent. Which you can make your divorce less expensive and we're putting you wouldn't charged with a feature if you were a judge. I'm talking about divorce starts right now coming up talking about divorce is not intended to encourage anybody to see. Information provided for informational and entertainment purposes should be considered legal advice and I decided to change without notice you should not act on any permission of course if you qualified professional help for your home track specific matter. Program talking about now. Of course this is your show pick up the phone join the conversation. 180331. Early and that's 1803314794. Now talking about divorce. It's every weekend. At this very trying. And it's a show all about divorce. We don't think gut you know divorce doesn't have to be thought of is all bad things come life is a big chapter books. You know what. You may have been married it's gonna be part of the story and women and is. Like continues. Good co parenting is certainly something that work. That we promote. We'll go with your life of being happy is something that we promote. Getting through the system. The best way possible. Some strategies. Which some procedures they you'll learn about what we promote what talked about divorce is all about. And I also. Feel like talking about divorce you wanna go to our website talking about divorce dot com. There's so many things on the web site. Like special reports. We've created. These documents to help you prepare for your divorce or family law matter how to get to the process. Easily. Remember. Preparation is key and we've always said the student does her homework gets BA. Let me give you a list of some and not just a list of some of these different. Reports. There's preparing a household budget post divorce. There's deciding on divorce. There's a special paper how to help the judge rule in your favor. There's a strategic piece played fair or be tough. The best prepared to land closes. Is a special report also 22 strategies for planning divorce. Questions to ask when interviewing divorce lawyers. Recommended books for children about divorce. Also the most downloaded. Special report on the wall why art temporary orders important. What they're all about and why is scheduling a hearing so important. Also must have clauses in your divorce agreement how to get the best deal with a former spouse went cold air dink. And that top mistakes to avoid one representing yourself. So you got to show you've got the web site and also. You can always call us for a free no obligation consultation. Pick up the phone call 180910. Divorce we have offices all over Massachusetts. Southern New Hampshire. We'll talk on the phone didn't come on anyway that's a charger for the first time. We're all about helping me get through the process. And make it easier and make him. I think frankly it's all about doing what's right for the kids. And that's all we're all about. Again this week sort of start. With the concept that. Well it's inevitable divorce is gonna happen. You can spend. You know for far Axl you could be a pro assailant again represent yourself not spent a penny a legal fees. Although they said. And most people will tell you including judges that's not Smart. But you don't have to spend. 50075000. Hundred some people say marriage is brand divorce and starting at fifty grand you don't have to spend that kind of money. You know you could do a lot of that yourself with some reasoning with your spouse. Maybe it's not gonna be that easy mean there's too much contentiousness. Maybe you have issues like. As soon to be former spouse is not willing to elect goes not willing to accept the fact that it's over. Maybe you need some form of Haiti are alternatives. Dispute resolution. Like mediation. Collaborative law. Sometimes private adjudication is easier because it's not in the public. Relevant court room you could all agree. Or maybe a ripple litigate but let's at least start with the concept that you can try to begin. With some successful negotiating. With your spouse and I'm gonna tell yet the sooner you learn to put yourself in your spouse is she lose. And ask what what I do it by where you. Go sooner or you're gonna be ready to arrive at a mutually acceptable. Our agreement. And there might be ten or twenty or thirty or fifty things you have to agree on. But once you get what you get it rolling boil tell yet it gets easier because everyone feels good about what we've accomplished so far. Let me give you some things that you need to do. If you wanna do this the right way and you truly believe. You will have saved all that money. For a future college education and not spend it putting your attorneys battled through college. There are some things you can do it would be wise slowly start with the fact that. You want or request that. Negotiations. Are gonna be held where the atmosphere is quiet professional. You can't be doing in the middle of a Starbucks. You can't do it a little remove the kids are playing and throwing things all over the place. You also should be prepared to take notes. And you want to come to a meeting. With a list of things that you want done. And check off each item as it's completed. And this may be common sense although it's really hard when emotions are high listen. Quietly and patiently to what's being said. Make sure that you have an equal opportunity to voice your opinions or disagreement. But again you know two years so what now for a reason right. I'm sure you love your opinions I'm sure you're not happy about some things. But be patient listen to what's being said. If nothing else that respects and get you a great start. Also try not to be defensive about your ideas. And be open to advice even if it's prince constructive. Criticism. Big defensive isn't gonna help anybody. And don't succumb to pressure for an immediate response. There's nothing wrong with requesting a minute to think gore asking for a timeout. In discussing the matter at hand at a later time. You know and I were you. As much as it might be a temptation. Dull use. Alcohol. And hold a half blood drugs even those that might calm your nerves during the time don't do wit. Because someone else is talking when you have all the hauler drugs involved. Clues some basic setting it up. Lots. Well. You're negotiating your settlement. With your spouse. I'm gonna give you four things you must remember to consider. But a lot of soon to be former spouses. Don't focus on. All right here's the first one you need to resolve help college tuitions are gonna be paid. Now you may have young insurance sake that's years down there but you know what you'll keep going back to court. You wanna have things covered in your agreement. Some judges won't sign off on an agreement. Unless college is addressed. In one fashion or another. Because having it silence gonna cause a lot of problems what was the intention of the tartan the party's divorced. But both parents contributions to college expenses. Have to be addressed in the agreement. And be very careful about using retirement assets as a source of education funding. Because these assets could take a very long time drug place. College costs can be met to lock up can't work arrangement. Of low interest loans financial aid in part time student jobs. Most parents. Are gonna have fewer financial resource is in retirement than their children will happen college. So you may already have a 529 savings blared. And if not. Are you wanna learn more about it go look up college 529 plans in divorce. To finally eruptions are but you've you've got to be thinking about college tuition. And you know wanted to be silent your agreement. Second. Reevaluate your thoughts about your retirement. You may be unaware of the phased increase in normal Social Security retirement ages. It was 65. Yeah well those days are cut in another words. You can't expect to be eligible for full benefits. Earlier than you actually well. Hopefully your Social Security will be supplementary income and not a major source under retirement wealth. But you got to address these things got to be thinking about these things. If you're only focused on today and next week or next month and what might happen in the year you're gonna have problems. Because you can't modify you can't change. Everything. In your agreement. What comes to property division. And certain issues about the future he got away one bite at the apple. Here's another thing. Negotiate a best health insurance coverage for you and your children. Health insurance is a big deal. And a one parent has access to health insurance at a reasonable cost. There are laws permitting or requiring the court to order up that parents should keep the children on the planet have health insurance becomes an expense. It's gonna be factored in the child support. But you really have to analyze what's best for the family. Don't just think about yourself for the can think about what's best for family health insurance coverage is something that's got to be strategically but through. And we stress upon this regularly. Calculate the long term costs of keeping their outs. Keeping the house might meet sex. If you're hoping to maintain. Primary. Parenting or custody of your children preserve some continuity in their lives. But it's also a valuable asset and have the whole. Is not liquid. It could be very expensive to maintain in the long term. You wanna make sure you run the numbers ahead of time to determine if you're able. To acquire a new residents before you stake your claim and fight to keep the house. Fighting and wanting to stay in the house sometimes can be an emotional decision. Not logical one. But those are things that you want to you know we talked about setting up. Right talked about the right atmosphere. We talked about four things a lot of parents don't focus on college tuition. Reevaluating your retirement. Negotiating the best possible health insurance for the family. And analyzing calculating and logically going to do the long term costs. Shall I say the pros and cons of keeping the whole. All important things that you wanna think about now. As far as. Splitting your stuff. Splitting your things. Unfortunately sometimes. That lay up. The end table. Some picture. Things that have little maudlin teary. A lot of emotional that too can be real. Deal breakers and can cause a lot of problems. If it becomes difficult. To split your stuff. Me give you a few methods. That we use with clients that might make sense. Okay. I'm gonna call this one coin flip. Number line. Look according. And have the winner don't bite up all the items viewing your spouse must divvy up into two lists. Alt break upset some things like dishes in tables emerging shares. The loser of the coin flip. No they do. They choose which lets tears she wants to take. And the remaining last is gonna belong to the list maker. And their could be what are two things in the latest 31 it would just but you know what if the two of you focus on that coin flip. But there're couple things that are deal breakers two of you can kind of go outside the arrangement of the quite slip. And what do you know now you're kind of working toward agreement which is nice. We could never too. According. To handle winner. Plays a monetary value on each item. On the list of things to be divided. The other person that chooses the items that he hears he wants. Up to half of the total value of all the items on the list. A person who won the flip is awarded what remains. And this can also be used for one item at a time. The first person places a value on an item such as car the other person then either takes it at that value. Org goes to be the first person on that value. You can also told a serial. What are you wholesale at a garage sale may be. NN delight all the proceeds equally. Then you're dealing with cash. Which ever one to get in need once divorce comes. There's also entertaining bids. On real substantial. Items of value all of our business. Inexpensive clock each spouse submits a sealed bid. Then the bids are open. Is better get sick. In equalizing payment. He's made at the end of the process for example but yet it excludes an antique and what have you did a grand and the other nine the higher better. That's the item and it's listed value. Or here's another way auction off. All the real auction with a neutral person acting as auctioneer. And the two spouses are the only bidders are allowed. Any increase its should be a minimal percentage like 5%. Over the last bit otherwise you're gonna you know light otherwise the two of you might be able forced to proceedings to go on into the night and go on forever. Don't do it. Now here's an interesting story. You know we're talking about. We're talking about property division. We're talking about how to do it. In a less contentious format. And you know poems are gonna be split businesses are gonna get split. Carr's retirement accounts oh we are talking about the little things that can sometimes. Drive you nuts. I remember we did a show we're talking about the fact that there was four hours of attorneys time dealing with 200 dollars a food that was in the refrigerator. I mean is she stories go on an art. But you know there's always that spouse who wants to trying to be clever. Would bogus property values what they give you an example. One of my funniest. Moments. That I can remember in court. But about five years ago. In a divorce case. Husband. Listed on his inventory. All right ready but his boat the motor and trailer. Worth 250 bucks. Though we are incredible life. And I'm sure husband bought debt. You know I was just some guy had no clue. But the trailer along would have cost more than 250 bucks. And you know what. Our client argued that. Well she did know exactly how much it was valued she was sure had to be much more than what her husband said. I can't remember the particulars of all the items does he and it's been five or six years. But I do remember that there were worth well above what he had said. I get angry that the opposing party for trying to perpetrate a fraud on the court. But you know what we print it got some evidence. We took don't we we got pictures we looked at things that work for you know Craig's list. We brought you know enough of common sense to the court. And you know what happened. That was pretty cool judge awarded the 250 dollar boat motor and trailer to our client. I told her at 250 dollars that was the value she could sell it she didn't want it so at the end of today. You know what. Justice does prevail. For past episodes of the show go to talking about divorce dot com and press the listened to our shows plus. And we'll be right back WR KL. Make his stand weave your voice. WRK old old boys of Boston. They act. Talking about divorce. And thanks for letting me Indy here years. At home in the car. Under did zillow advice and I love Obama. About all the great hits and no and mean Nolan you take a chance on me Waterloo mamma Mia and soul that's great music. And you know. We've said before. Divorce isn't that bad. Let's focus on some of the positives. We've always said that as a child you get two rooms. All the arguing all the contentiousness finally you'll open the door that air clears all are it's over. It is a child. You learned some things that you can use later in life. So matter of fact. Spent some time. Talking to a lot of people. They wanna talk about ways that. Growing up and a divorced family. May do a better parent. So cool like we can start whip. Think about your children. Being a parent. Who comes from a divorced home. Will shape their lives in ways that you might not even realize. Until years later you see the ladies. In which there are bringing. Up sex their adult life. And good and bad ways. But let's talk about how coming from a divorced home. Can actually end up making you a better parent when you have children of your own here's the first thing. You're gonna be better listeners. There's a huge difference between merely hearing someone and actually listening to them we knew we know they had. Having felt like. Our own cries were sometimes secondary. Court appearance marital issues. What you know why you're gonna know how disheartening it can be to feel unheard. And putting those negative feelings to use. Helps us better listen to our own kids and our partners later in life. You're also gonna communicate more effectively but chances are. I mean outside of money. If we have to couple outside of money communication. It's gonna probably be the number one issue and most marriages. Everyone communicates differently so it's understandable that there's the real learning curve that sometimes. Is never mastered by couples. And since people who have come from divorced homes. Have seen the wrath of these problems. As children and then growing up and eventually as spouses. Here you get a little more creative. Ed getting your point across effectively. Think about it. All learning. Some delete a skill. But you were able to learn. From billboards. It says is so bad. Also were more encouraging of our children's aspirations. You know parents whose all parents. Got divorced understand the importance of keeping up focus on the positive the children and not letting life's stress is get in the way. Were more intent. As parents on encouraging our children twelve braced her own uniqueness. What do they wanna be a ballerina go ahead what you wanna be artist on campus go ahead. You wanna go to some other country and you know scraped oil locked threes are tired follow your heart as parents we understand there. As we know what the feelings were like when we were children. And also. After divorce. I think it children try harder and everything. With sex marriages and easy compared to even harder. And getting along with another person every hour of the day is not realistic. But what we do more damage to try. We've seen relationships fall apart before a week felt the sting that come with separation. So we try harder. After divorce. I don't think Denny how. Saying the word what ever. Or telling your spouse or in the dog house and turning and facing the wall at night before saying I love you and giving the other person not. I think we try a little bit harder. Ed divorced children that grow up giving up is not really an option throwing in the tell what anything. Can be difficult. They're gonna have its own set of challenges because whether it's mastering fractions. For kids. Dealing with a new math. We're helping what homework. We're gonna exhaust all options before we even. Even think about quitting. Tenacity. Is always necessary for us even when it's actually kind of unnecessary. But giving up is something that children of divorce. Are really leading to bite that's not part of the stuff part of the DNA. I think children of divorce are also. Got to learn to be more patient. Because what people go through a divorce tempers can run short. And you don't want to be honest with you kind of sucks when your kid being around that energy. So we've practiced a fine art of deep breathing and cursing under our breath. What we're feeling impatient. Another benefit of divorce if you wanna think about some positives. We're also incredibly supportive of our children. Coming from a divorced home. Can create a real rift between the two parties mom and dad's thousand Strauss leaving children emotionally having to fend for themselves. Some of our own interest may have been tossed aside. What our parents were focused on theirs instead. Cool we don't want that for our children. And it's something you know unconditional support. Of our children and partners it's something that we tend to gain. And finally another benefit. We learn not what to do the hard way. We see that again we learned not what to do the hard way if two people are getting divorced something didn't go according to player. Mistakes are made situations were called incorrectly. Could noticeable it's growing apart or is awful as well. Lots of things can lead to divorce but either way. There's a reason it didn't work out or whatever that reason is we're determined not to let that hinder our own relationships. With our own spouses co parent. Or our children. So if you think about it. There are positives that can come would divorce. It's time now for if you were the judge. Our site. Brand new segment. We're Gannett. I asked you how you would handle things if you're the judge. Now first starters. Let me give you some to think about. When you go to court has a pro city litigate. Or you're going with a lawyer. We tend to approach to family. Court judge. With arguments. That we think are gonna wind. But from a judge's when he knew they don't want win in lose but. They look each case the problem that's to be solved. Common sense suggests. That you wanna persuaded judge you've got to learn how to think like one. Did you step at a time. Show the judge. Other console and the problem and he can't. So here we go how would you handle this case if you Wear the judge. Hears the fact pattern. I retired member of the US navy. Had been married to a Japanese woman for more than twenty years. And there are major possession. Was his military pension. And she did sign an agreement giving up all interest ticked. Now understand under under the law controlling the case. Up pension earned by a one spells during the marriage belongs equally to golf. Now this was an uncontested. Case. Known as a 18 divorce in Massachusetts. But if you were presented with a financial statement. And you were the judge. How would you handle something like dat. We'll have more. After the break BC radio AM 680 WRK oh in 937 FM HD till the voice of Boston. Of course continue. Let's go into the courtroom and see how you rule if you were the judge. Flying tomorrow. PC games. Let the husband appeared in court. Judge presiding over the case told him that he wouldn't bring the divorce. Unless he brought his wife to court. So that the judge could see if she truly understood. What she was getting up. A week heard legal interest. It was worth several 100000 dollars. When they appeared in court a few days later the judge asked her if she understood. That because that tension had been her while they were married she was legally tight legally entitled to half lit. Now being somewhat broken English and she said she understood. And she wanted him to have at all. She didn't seem clear on how she was gonna support herself. And just then right then the door in the back to the courtroom opened. And a lawyer that the judge recognized walked in the filed some papers. Judge says. Would you ask attorney Adam subtle color in my chambers and tell her about her rights. Under her husband's pension. The judge asked the lawyer. Lawyer agreed and the woman were behind closed doors for about fifteen minutes well the judge handled a couple of cases. And when they reappeared and why I think changed her mind. She wanted to hear. Health of each pension payment. Husband saw. There wasn't going to be a divorce if he didn't agree. And would some rumbling the accepted the change which was incorporated into the final. Divorce judgment. Well the moral of the story is best. Judges will normally accept any settlement. You when your spouse agree on specially if it's an uncontested won a divorce as we call it Massachusetts. But if you're not represented by a lawyer. A judge might feel that what you've agreed to is far from what the law would provide. That he or she would what I've talked to you personally and make sure you understand your options. So. Well uncontested parties can trying to put together an agreement. Did the judge sees that one person or ball go to lawyers. And it's way too far from what would be a middle ground. There's no guarantee. Your course strategy co parenting tips and insights from the country's leading authorities radio program should be required listening for every divorcing parents is. Best program on any radio Haitian talking about divorce. Spring break or I guess we should call what people vacation. Is now behind us we've got two months. Until summer you ought to use this as a warning. Or I should say do you hear that train whistle. See the train right now might be a Washington DC. Am not you know a month from now it's going to be kind of go through Connecticut forty go to Rhode Island and here we are. And there's going to be a train wreck if you don't figure out what you're gonna be it'll. With summer vacation or summer break. When your co parenting. One thing that always seems to oppose it challenge for co parenting families. Is summer break. There's always hope especially especially families. Who have just recently gone to a divorce may not be used to the idea parenting schedules. They may have been normal one that they set for the school year. But you know like when summer months com. Parenting and don't parenting plan is gonna change. Now keeping your children occupied. It does or doesn't matter if it's an intact or it's blue. Co parenting. Keeping children occupied is arguably the most difficult part of summer break. What parenting. You know what it's even the most difficult part out summer for families who are still together. It's important for parents to spend quality time with the children we all know that especially when growing up. It's not always possible now if you're in high conflict situation. Ed your co parent isn't one per working with you together are going back and forth every two or three days. Still work during the summer. And you want your children to be your number one priority but of its not gonna work you may consider setting them debt. Summer vacation somewhere media can't meet you have relatives. You wanna be right narrow thinking about it hear the train whistle. Should you be talking here co parent but you ought to be talking your children about summer plans weight prior to summer break. Now for younger children. Are often much more impressionable and vulnerable during this time of their lives. Parenting is especially important to children when they're younger. If there are divorced families this means that children spend relatively. Equal amounts of time football parents. Let you know what parents have jobs. This creates a lot of attention. You've got to plan ahead. You've got a request fairly timer vacation time from your employer in advance. Because leaving the children would consider. Maybe your only option if you wait too long and then you're gonna feel guilty. And they're gonna wanna do everything you can't to spend time with them. And you know if you don't plan in advance your gonna have a problem now of the older children. They wanna do things on Earl what girlfriends. We often say what's thirteen 1415. Years Kolb out. Custody or parenting is where the children's feet are. Just what toll learn how to drive. And this can really gotten this could provide some relief. But it doesn't mean they geared totally out of the woods. Oh what you have to do is you have to do more planning. Each week. You've got to sit LT kids discussed a plan that they already out and figure out what things they want until. But bad train it's even a little surf from when we talked about it sixty seconds ago. But you know now now last April vacation is behind us. What we have eight weeks nine weeks it wasn't like there are a lot of snow days this year. Anyone really think about what you wanna do in the summer. Are right before the break. Let's talk about. An issue of making. Your divorce. As inexpensive as can be you know you've heard. We've talked about it. Getting divorced can be expensive. Partners or any marriage are gonna feel like they take it a financial beating. And even if the breakup is amicable. Splitting assets figuring out support it's not easy. So you're looking. Ten not in late that cost of your divorce. A wanna give you three quick things that you ought to consider first involved a divorce lawyers as little as possible. Listen here I am right now under the lead attorney about divorce and family law firm. Telling you don't overdo it. Don't overdo it. Racking up hundreds and thousands of dollars in bills by calling every day you talk to your attorney. You know what you don't need to know it. You don't need to do it. Try Indian Reeves is reasonable it's you can't don't think that this is gonna be impossible. Trying to work things through you don't. What to draw I Bob bills your lawyer is that a therapist. Think about it as getting your return on your investment. You know you may consider divorce fees and expenses. I column in investment. Dealer return on your investment. There's no reason there's no reason to throw all the money down the drain so above the divorce lawyers as little as possible. During the second tip. You might be feeling guilty you might be feeling sick act Adobe and emotional spender. Specially if you have children. You naturally feel sad and terrible family splitting up. But you know by all these new tool ice but I'm all the video games why not pony don't go overboard. Your children's lives are gonna change no matter what. Accept it and work on new ways to adjust. A buying things over and over again is not the answer. And finally. Split your assets as fairly as possible this might be obvious. And we talked about negotiating. Ellen talked about ways that you can play games arc or ordered or come up with different strategies display your stuff. But some splitting spouse is don't want to divide everything evenly or on a different view on what's fair. All that's gonna do is create more legal fees. Trying to win. Trying to get the upper hand. Wrong move. Wrong moving gonna work and all you're gonna end up doing its. Spending more money. It's the money you're gonna need. Come. Let me go he's Smart mourn the funeral. Politico. How do you choose the right Boston Cape Cod twister or western Massachusetts family law attorney. You can search the Internet 31 divorce lawyers website after another but after a wild they all sound the same right. Paula clogged roof knows how do you feel that's why we decided to let others do the talking for us specifically reviews written by our past clients. Go to mass divorce reviews dot com that's mass divorce reviews dot com. Many of our past clients are happy to share their stories and experiences they've had with our divorce attorneys read all about it that mass divorce refused dot com. Listen you never expected to have to deal with a divorce lawyer nobody does everything seems like a big mystery and your life feels like it's in limbo. Your first step is to talk to the attorney said Paulette Clark group. We'll set up a confidential in person meeting where we can sit down and talk about what happens next. We'll discuss your situation. Your family and the things that matter most to you. Your meeting will result in an action plan plus an understanding of your rights and options. You may come in confused with lots of questions but you'll leave with a game plan and a clear idea of how to move forward with your life. Divorce is scary and it can make you feel like your life is falling apart. Pollack blog group is here to take you through the process would safety and security the best part your first consultation with one of our attorneys is complimentary. It's absolutely freak. If you're ready to get started check out the reviews at mass divorce refused dot com and then. Call us 80910 divorce that's 80910. Divorce. 198. Wait a rough day is just traffic and weather whenever. On the WRKO lap. Well John Mack. To the program talking about divorce. I'm attorney Irwin Pollack from polyglot group. You have questions during the week. What do consultation. Work talk about the program Levy might direct line. 781708. 45277817084527. I work primarily. Himself Borough. For 95 in the kite. I go all the way out to an hour to Springfield. I go down. Just about a little bit more then Mallard toward the gate. Boston's forty man army you know I'm I'm right in the middle. Call me if I can answer any of your questions. You know what in the program. Talking about children. And many give you a quote. I'm kind of I read this the other day analysts say it's mine but here's a great quote. The space. Between the Cole parents. Is up playground for the children. If two parents can't be on the same page disk space between co parent. Can be up playground for the child. Should make some sex the end. Especially when it's new when divorce is new. Horse kids get older I wanna get I want a big deal never. To ask children to choose. No child should ever be placed in the position of choosing between mom and dad. Or spouse and spouse parent parent your child loves bulk of U. Can you imagine the pain and pressure placed on a child in that situation. Trial ever wants to choose between parents. What they lost. Both sides. For their parents to get back together if for someone else to make these decisions. Now I'm not saying that a child should have some input. Certainly that there are in pain and only on your child to choose you know as far as where they're gonna live the majority of their tying. Up 5050 perfect late it's impossible so kids are gonna stand timed it. What else more than the other. Why don't make it to child's decision the to a you know your work schedules matured you know you're in trysts. And the two of you know your strengths and weaknesses all good you're still gonna have the children in your lives. They are gonna want home Arab bedroom for him. We don't want to respond if you don't want responsibility being the primary period he doesn't make good their person either. To walk and people especially moms. We get issue of where the designated. Primary. Nebraska children's going to be you know why because they know society and especially their preamble. And help people expect Ahmad to be the primary parent. They don't wanna be seen is on better I'm carrying what does that make a decision that's in your child's best interest don't worry about everybody else. I know a little girl and a little boy whose mother and father got a divorce and that is children cried and cried you know why. One reason was that they thought it was all their fault. But of course it wasn't their fault. Things like weddings. And having babies. And buying houses and cars. And getting divorces. Are all grown up things. All right before we go three tips uncle parenting first. So bad now directs that you have a dispute with your former spouse gold exposure children of the conflict. Also don't quit your child about the other parent or what goes on at the other parent's house you're gonna ask general questions the told snoop. And don't introduce major changes in your child's life if you can help it. Try to keep your usual family routines especially. When divorce is going aren't. These are all things you wanna be able to focus on and it's what were all about god talking about divorce itself best interest of the children. That's what we're focused on their you know another show. Thanks for listening pick for having a senior homes CN next time. You just heard another episode of talking about divorce one of the most trusted and distinguished sources of in depth insight and analysis on the issues relating to Massachusetts divorce and family law. Talking about divorce is produced by Paula clogged roof PC join us next weekend for another show and until then remember the divorced family isn't broken family. But the family stayed in a bad marriage it. Preceding program has been a.